If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
