all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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