Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
