Ketchup is God's man juice
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
