i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I need moral support for this bender
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
