We named our party play list daddy issues
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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