hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
