Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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