just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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