last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
