he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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