After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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