a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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