His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Mom said you looked used
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
