If that was your dad, he is hot
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
