Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
