Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
