i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
