that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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