The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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