my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I lost the right to judge tonight
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
