How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Randomize
