I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
