also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
