remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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