if i can run in heels then i can drive
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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