you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Is Oprah even human
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
