Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
