I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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