so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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