I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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