i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
