Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
