I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
