I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
