my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
