Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
