I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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