So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
His hands were made for my vagina.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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