I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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