garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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