i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
