we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
