just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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