What a fucking waste of an outfit
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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