therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm getting married
To pizza
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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