He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
