I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
