Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
