Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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