there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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