Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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