I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
