he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
